1. Godfrey Bloom
As UKIP MEP for Yorkshire & the Humber, Mr. Bloom sat on the European Parliament’s Committee for Women’s Rights and Gender Equality. All well and good until the right-wing fool opens his mouth to produce gems such as “No self-respecting small businessman with a brain in the right place would ever employ a lady of child-bearing age... the more women's rights you have, it's actually a bar to their employment”.
He complained that the 2008 Equality Bill was “legislation which will add to the unbelievable burden on small businesses”. Well isn’t it terrible that equality is apparently a burden. For some people, Godfrey, it comes naturally.
Predictably he comes out with the standard Daily Mail cynical line: “There appears to be a woeful lack of candour and commonsense in modern day politicians”. Unless he is accepting his lack of candour and commonsense, Bloom is either not a politician or not in the modern day.
2. Nick Robinson
Not actually a politician but it’s only fair that snotty journalists get as much stick as politicians themselves. This particular interrogator makes my skin crawl. Especially his sensationalist final quips at the end of his investigations followed by a creepy stare at the camera and a smug “Back to Huw/Fiona/George in the studio”. It’s always a bad sign when you empathise with the politician in an interview. Nick Robinson goes at them in such a way that is not at all entertaining nor is it helpful – when politicians are so vociferously attacked then they just defend and divert.
For those that cannot be bothered to look on Wikipedia, Robinson went from public school to Oxford University where he was President of the Young Conservatives. Now being a member of the Conservative Party as a tight-fisted middle-aged taxpayer is objectionable but tolerable. I cannot comprehend why a student would ever want to join a party so entrenched in tradition and dullness, especially in the 1980s. Criticism of bias go out the window – why is the political editor of the BBC clearly such a boring friendless loser? Bring back Andrew Marr.
To compound this, Robinson went from Crimewatch to Panorama to ITN and seems unable to shake off the sensationalist culture, dragging the BBC political news into run-of-the-mill shit-stirring antics.
Also he’s distinctly unfunny.
And this morning when his voice woke me through my radio 4 alarm clock I very nearly cried my way to the shower in despair.
3. David Cameron
Leaving any partisan feeling at the login page, David Cameron remains the most odious politician despite the fact I am a card-carrying anti-Tory. To prove that my objections are non-partisan here are some Tories I actually quite like: Michael Portillo, Kenneth Clark, Alan Duncan, Eric Pickles... I even have a slight propensity for Alan Clark believe it or not. David Cameron does not join this list of average-to-good Tories for a multitude of reasons. He appears distinctly uninterested and lukewarm towards absolutely everything. Alan Duncan may hold views about market liberalism that I oppose but at least he really actually cares to the extent that I can listen to him describe his Libertarian values and feel blessed that a) there is such a wide-range of political ideologies in play in British politics b) I do not hold them. Cameron bores me to death with talk of compassionate conservatism which really means absolutely nothing, of self-determination which by definition can only come from the self, catchphrases and policy which by nature is policy-free.
Worse than the photos of him in shorts on holiday is his jeering and borderline bullying of the Prime Minister at PMQs. Gordon Brown appears extremely nervous and shaky at the weekly Wednesday half-hour shouting match and David Cameron seems to enjoy making this worse by closing every sentence as if he is running out of breath and shaking his head despondently at absolutely everything the Prime Minister says.
Watch this and then ask yourself, would it not be better to criticise the Prime Minister’s actions regarding the election that never was based on constitutional/democratic grounds rather than make smug quips backed by laughing from the Tories: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-Ps7fJm7rk
Add onto that the sheer personal wealth of the guy and it’s a wonder he even knows how to say “ordinary people” without having to wash out his mouth afterwards. According to Wikipedia he is descended from royalty and his mother is second cousin to his wife. If that’s not the mark of ‘broken Britain’ I don’t know what is.
Best description of Cameron ever: “a hollow Easter egg with no bag of sweets inside" (from Charlie Brooker’s Screen Burn)
4. George Galloway
The honourable member (in the loosest definition) for Bethnal Green and Bow is admittedly a brilliant orator who can hold the attention of a great number of people with carefully chosen language and a captivating accent. Unfortunately, “gorgeous” George has shown himself to be grossly hypocritical and unashamedly arrogant, boasting of his brilliance (“I’m teetotal, dontcha know!”) and castigating as many people as he can, especially other politicians. Perhaps what is most sickening is the way in which he won his East London seat in the 2005 general election. N
ot contented like many other Labour MPs by rebelling against government policy of the Iraq war (in what was a free vote) and taking a critical role from within the party, the veteran angry-man decided not just to antagonise the Labour grandees to the extent that they kicked him out but then went and formed his own party. What incredible egotism it must take not just to want to be LEADER of a party but to start one yourself. And thus the Respect Coalition was born. When the Socialist Alliance were asked to join the coalition they requested Galloway take the average wage of workers (around £23,000) and give the rest back to the party. Of course Galloway (not exactly with a great deal of dependents: single with one grown up daughter) could not dream of taking such a pay cut and giving up his exuberant lifestyle, reputedly stating “ I couldn’t live on three workers’ wages." He claims his fondness of cigars is in honour of Castro and Guervara; yes George, in Cuba or perhaps Venezuela that may be the case. In Britain it is the sign of a fat cat who loves money more than fairness. Sound familiar? A pig in lipstick etc.
Galloway successfully deposed Oona King as MP for Bethnal Green and Bow. King was one of the hardest working MPs, a young female politician with great conviction. Galloway attends 9% of votes in parliament – a greater percentage than only a handful of other MPs most of whom are either dead or abstain from voting like Sinn Fein. Disgraceful.
5. Norman Tebbit
With Thatcher being too easy a target, it made sense to go for one of her biggest fans. It isn’t just his abominable part in the Thatcher legacy and his utter lack of sympathy for the 3.6 million unemployed that places him in this list but he embodies a darkly xenophobic wing of the Conservative party. It wouldn’t be fair to criticise a Tory simply for their views seeing as they are a democratic party, but Tebbit has and still manages to drag the party towards a faintly nationalistic position. Anyway, let’s start at the top.
Norman Tebbit was Secretary of State for Employment and then for Trade and Industry during the 1980s, a decade infamous for employment and industrial rioting and dispute. Rather than deal with the miners’ strike and such issues with diplomacy and sympathy, Tebbit took the hardline position of alienating the majority of British workers by attempting to undermine the unions to the extent that any unionists to this day are viewed as Marxist or lefty loons. I have never understood the Tory dissatisfaction with unions. They criticise the Labour Party of being undemocratic because of the sway unions have held over the party which begs the question, is it better for a political party to be in the pockets of working people through unions or businessmen? Seeing as the Tories are funded by wealthy businessmen and organisations like CBI, it seems distinctly undemocratic that they are influenced by a wealthy elite rather than a large part of the workforce (teachers, journalists, health workers etc.). Of course neither situation is ideal but the utter hypocrisy of Tebbit’s position drives me insane.
The usual line from racists/xenophobics/nationalists is their argument that they don’t actually dislike foreigners at all... as long as they stay in their own countries. Tebbit’s “cricket rule” was a reaction to the growing population of first and second generation Bangladeshi and Pakistani immigrants in the United Kingdom. Naturalisation into a new country is something that happens gradually over a number of generations and I don’t see any reason why that is an issue or why it should be hastened. You cannot force integration. Tebbit argued that the test for integration is to ask young Pakistanis whether they support England or Pakistan at cricket: England = integrated, Pakistan = not integrated. This is ridiculous for a myriad of reasons. Lots of people support the team that their parents support or a team linked to their heritage anyway; descendents of Scots who were born and brought up in England often support Scotland in football, ditto for Wales in Rugby. Basing nationality on sport partisanship is clearly nonsensical and it’s no wonder the modern-day Conservative party do their best to distance themselves from Norman Tebbit.
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